In this blog post, I will compose a scene in the present tense from my current life. However, this scene will paint a daydream I had just yesterday about a potential prequel to Steven Spielberg's Jaws, one that ignores Jaws 3-D and Jaws: The Revenge (AKA Jaws: The Soap Opera), and acts as an alternate third entry to the series. Here is a little sample of my creative genius. I have read and gone over Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway), to help teach me how to compose a scene in the present tense with dialogue and symbolism.
I head up the front circular driveway of Amity Island's Psychiatric Hospital, driving my dad's iconic gold and yellow open top Chevy K5 Blazer. I'm intend on seeing a girl named Jackie Peters. Jackie and I are great friends, and have been since my dad, Martin Brody, saved us both from a killer shark. I marvel at the fact that they lock her in a room with four large windows that function as walls. Jackie comes over to the glass and smiles at me as Dr. Tina Wilcox unlocks the door and lets me in. "Oh, Sean, it's so wonderful to see you" Jackie sighs. "The feeling's mutual" I reply. "My God, she hasn't aged a bit" I think to myself. "Tell me about yourself, Sean. What's new with you?" Jackie asks. "Oh, not much. Sheriff Hendricks hired me for the deputy position in town, but you already knew that" I reply. "How about you?" I ask Jackie, who begins to shake her head. "I can still see that-that thing coming for the both of us, pushing all those broken sailboats and catamarans around like a child's toys" Jackie quivers. "Hey, it's alright" I tell her gently, and I reach out and put an arm around her shoulders. She leans into my chest, and begins to cry heavily. "Poor Eddie" she says. "Yeah, speaking of Eddie, how's Tina making out?" I ask. Jackie shrugs. "Ok, I guess. For a girl that literally witnessed a shark brutally consume her boyfriend". "Tell me, how are you, Jackie? I mean, mentally? How are you making out?" I ask her. Jackie looks up at me with those beautiful light blue eyes. "How do you think I am? I have a pathological fear of sharks" she snaps. "It's alright, Jackie, I do too" I say. "What do you mean, you do too?" Jackie demands. "You weren't the only one trapped on all those wrecked boats, remember?" I press. "Yeah, I remember" Jackie sighs. Then, she completely changes the subject of discussion. "Hey, Dr. Wilcox tells me that there's another shark problem in this town. Is that true?" Jackie asks. I shrug. "As of right now, Jackie, as much as I'd like to answer that, I cannot confirm nor deny that rumor" I answer. Jackie sits up a little. "It's true, isn't it?" she asks. "I can't answer that" I reply. "Sure you can. Is there a shark problem or isn't there?" Jackie demands. I shake my head no. "We don't know as of right now. The coroner, and mayor Larry Vaughn Jr, seem to be convinced it's a boat accident. But I don't know what to think right now, Jackie" I say. Jackie sighs. "Oh, is it because of your dad? And how everyone thought he was a raving lunatic the second time around? Listen, Sean, honey, if you ever need a little emotional support, just come by and see me some time. You know I'll make things right for you" Jackie says. "Yeah, I know you will, Jackie. I'll be back when I have some free time. In the meantime, take it easy" I tell her. "You know I will, baby" Jackie says, grinning.
1 Comment
colin
9/24/2018 08:13:11 pm
The scene was well written, I also like the movie franchise of Jaws.
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Matt McShane
I will use this work to explore the written word. Archives
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